


Apple Turnovers

by ItspronouncedJulia



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, Lesbian Relationship, Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov - Freeform, Road Trips, blackhill - Freeform, family bonding time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 03:03:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10427703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItspronouncedJulia/pseuds/ItspronouncedJulia
Summary: The only thing keeping Maria Hill from driving this car off a cliff was the promise of Laura Barton's apple turnovers.





	

Laura Barton made the best apple turnovers that Maria had ever tasted. The thought about digging into one of Laura’s heavenly little pastries with a side of vanilla ice cream was quite possibly the only thing getting her through this hellish ride from New York City to Idaho. One could say this was where the problem began.

The drive to Idaho. The _drive_ to Idaho. They could have just as easily taken a flight to Idaho but Clint took exception to them regularly landing Quinjets in his cornfield and since adopting Isabelle Natasha had refused to fly commercial with their little pea. Maria didn’t see a problem with it but Natasha was one paranoid motherfucker which was fine when Maria didn’t have to _drive_ to Idaho.

From New York City it was 37 hours. Of course Natasha had did the first half and Maria was finishing up but still between them that was about eighteen hours each give or take. Right now Maria was on hour fifteen which means they were close but not nearly close enough.

Not when they had one ten year old in the back humming off tune. Certainly not when Fräulein was howling in her crate begging to get out and stretch her legs, well Aristocat was crying because she was an obese cat who could hardly fit in her carrier and at some point Liho had escaped her prison and was roaming around the car. And apparently no one who wasn’t driving thought it was a good idea to put her back and for the past mile and a half Maria could swear she had smelled something akin to cat piss somewhere in her car.

“Isabelle what are you humming back there?” Maria asked trying to take her mind off the thought of driving them all into a tree. She recognized the tune but couldn’t place the title of the song or who sang it, though it was right on the tip of her tongue.

“Behind Blue Eyes,” Izzy said.

“A song by The Who? Where did you hear that?” Natasha asked cracking her eyes just a bit to glance back at their child. Maria was about a second away from reminding Natasha that the internet was a thing and at this point in time a ten year old would be a master at navigating through it but before Maria could state the obvious Izzy answered for herself.

“I found their _CD_ in the living room the other night when my iPhone died and I listened to it.” If Maria could put the tone into which Isabelle said the word CD into a sentence it might have sounded something like “A CD? Can you believe they still make those relics?” Wait until she found out that vinyl was coming back in style.

More importantly when did the technological achievements of her youth become so obsolete to the point where her ten year old was using the word CD like Maria might have used the word gramophone or phonograph. Like CDs belonged in a museum somewhere.

“Can we get something to eat?” Isabelle’s squeaky little voice cut through Maria’s current chain of depressing thoughts.

“No sweetpea.” Maria sighed at the sight of Isabelle pouting in the rear view mirror. “We’ll be there soon.”

“And by soon of course she means three hours.” Natasha said under her breath causing Maria to scowl. She wasn’t in the mood to be undermined by her wife.

“Please I’m really hungry,” Isabelle whined.

“No.”

“But mommy!”

“What?!” Maria snapped the prospect of driving into a tree becoming more and more appealing as this argument continued.

“I want something to eat!”

“Well men in hell want ice water,” Maria said back. “That’s what my father said to me when I complained.” She muttered more to herself as an afterthought. Of course this was a lie. When Maria got the courage to whine as a child she would be met with a swift backhand which silenced her fairly quickly.

“Stop pestering your mother.” Natasha said with no real authority in her voice. She had closed her eyes again and Maria was expecting that at any moment the redhead would pretend to drift off to get out of this conversation.

“Cooper says the only way to get your parents to buy you stuff is to pester them.” Isabelle huffed causing Maria to raise an eyebrow.

“If Cooper Barton jumped off a bridge would you jump to?” Now that was actually something Maria’s father would say to her so much that Maria almost hated herself for how automatic the words came out of her mouth.

“I dunno would I get food if I jumped?” Fuck that was funny but Maria fought the urge to laugh. The moment she broke down she would be taking a detour to get to the nearest McDonalds. That didn’t stop Natasha from laughing at the comment and then...Maria couldn’t help but begin to giggle as well.

“Fine, we can get food.” Maria sighed getting off at the next exit.

 

*

 

“They look happy,” Natasha hummed taking a bite of her cheese burger. She was leaning against the car watching with an eagle eye as Isabelle and Fräulein ran around in the grassy field besides the McDonalds they had stopped at. They had acquired some odd looks from the people coming in and out of the restaurant, Maria figured it must look rather odd to have a giant German shepherd chasing around a ten year old but Maria couldn’t find herself to care too much.

They all needed to stretch their legs out for a bit and Maria was wondering why she was against this idea in the first place. After being stuck behind the wheel of her car it was nice to be standing up and moving around.

“Is it sad that I would rather be cleaning cat piss out of the car than driving it?” Maria asked causing Natasha to smile softly.

“Maybe a little but I think I would rather be doing the same.”

“Great we can be sad together.” Maria hummed.

“All great relationships are built on the need to be sad with each other.” Natasha said defensively.

“I think I read that somewhere maybe in a Mrs. Mills column.” Natasha snorted and reached down to brush her lips against Maria’s cheek.

“Fuck Aristocat!” Maria shouted causing both cats to jump. They had been exploring the car and in the process Aristocat had pooped in the back. Natasha couldn’t help but laugh at her wife’s misfortune. “You know what I’m getting more nuggets after I’m done.”

“I’ll go get some more napkins, and your nuggets.” Natasha said heading towards the restaurant.

 

*

 

“I have to use the bathroom.” Maria was ready to die. Well more specifically she was ready to kill herself and take her whole family with her. It had taken close to a half hour to get all the animals back in their cages, the car reeked of cat pee and poop, and it was another hour and a half to get to Clint’s house. And now Isabelle had to use the bathroom.

“Why didn’t you go well we were out?” Maria demanded.

“I didn’t have to go when we were out.” Isabelle shrugged.

“I guess you're going to have to hold it,” Maria barked.

“Another one of your grandfather’s sayings.” Natasha quipped. Natasha wasn’t wrong about that. When had Maria become her father?

The brunette shook away the thought.

“We’ll stop at the next rest stop.”

 

*

 

“Please tell me you have the apple turnovers ready,” Maria pleaded as she stumbled through Clint’s front door pushing past the blonde and stumbling straight to Laura who indeed had a bowl filled with two turnovers and a couple of scoops of ice cream.

“Of course.” Laura said happily she watched with amusement as Maria took her first bite, joy that hadn’t been present in Maria since leaving the city bloomed across her face.

“Come on Laura let’s do it already, let’s leave it all behind and run away to Paris.” Maria muttered causing Laura to laugh.

“Trust me Maria if I could I would but I don’t like the idea of running away from Tasha for the rest of our lives.” Maria snorted as she shoveled more of the food into her mouth.

“She’d kill us both.” The brunette observed as Natasha silently moved behind her giving Maria’s butt a possessive squeeze.

“Definitely.” Laura laughed before turning to greet the redhead.

 

*

 

“I wouldn’t kill you.” Natasha yawned as she settled into bed besides Maria. Her head resting on Maria’s chest she smiled when she heard an excited shriek coming from downstairs. Cooper, Isabelle and Lila were camping out in the living room and it sounded like they were having a blast. In the other room already Natasha could hear Clint’s loud snores and wondered how Laura could possibly sleep through them. Though if she really was that curious she could have just asked her own wife how she dealt with terrible snoring from her partner.

Natasha didn’t want to know that badly.

After a couple of hours of roaming around outside both Liho and Aristocat were curled up at the foot the bed snoring almost as loudly as Clint and of course Fräulein was with Izzy and the others downstairs keeping watch over her tiny human.

“Really?” Maria yawned knowing exactly what Nat was referring to. “What would you do if I ran off with Laura Barton and her yummy apple turnovers?”

“I would get rid of Laura and then drag you back home where I would tie you up to our marriage bed and break both you're ankles so you could never leave me.”

“What about when my ankles healed?”

“Well I guess I would leave that choice to you. Would you rather I set your ankles in a way that they would never heal properly again or would you want me to keep breaking them each time they healed?” Maria thought it over before answering.

“I guess I would rather you set them wrong. I couldn’t imagine having them broken over and over again.” Maria winced.

“Good choice.” Natasha said softly and for a moment they fell into silence and Nat was about to fall asleep under the impression that the conversation had ended.

“You know despite how many times I contemplated killing us all on the ride up here due to how fucking annoying you all are, I would rather have you guys than Laura and her turnovers.” Maria observed causing Natasha to coo.

“God can you believe that Clint questioned just how romantic you truly are before we got together?” Natasha said nuzzling her face against Maria's neck.

“Hey when I put my mind to it I can be romantic.” Maria yawned shutting her eyes.

“That year when you got me that set of steak knives for Valentine’s day really knocked my panties off.” Maria’s only response to that was a defensive grunt as she drifted off to sleep. It wasn’t long before Natasha followed.


End file.
